Monthly Archives: April 2010

Pea-sized

I haven’t really mentioned much about the Pea yet; so, it’s time to give you the lowdown. Basically, she is amazing, but where do I start?
She’s quite the morning person. (um..where does that comes from? Not me-just saying.) Her big brother is her favorite person; she saves most of her smiles just for him. She only wants to sleep nuzzled against my boobies. And when she farts, she lifts both her legs. (Hi-larious!)

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holy moly…

The Pea is nearly 6 weeks old and I figure it’s time to start getting out of the house.  Taking both the kids out, by myself, is quite a daunting prospect, really. (considering the pea is either attached to my boobies or pooing and I usually need to have all my wits about me with the danger-man).  But, today, I’d thought I’d give it a try.  

I love the moby...

Can I just say: my first attempt was an epic failure. Epic. Kids are like dogs, they can smell fear. I believe, this lead to todays ultimate demise.
At first I thought we were doing okay. (even though, I forgot my coffee and story time at the library was cancelled) I feed and changed the Pea, so she was due to sleep for at least 2 hours. I made sure the diaper bag was stocked, and remembered our overdue library books. Danger-man had his shoes on the right feet. I even put on my moby wrap before I left, so I could just slip the Pea in later. (I know, supermom, right? not by a long shot.)

The Danger-man used my anxiety as his free ticket to run amok and generally act a like a wild-man. He even weaseled two cupcakes out of me; (heaven help me!) fueling himself up for the mother of all meltdowns. 
At our little dance party, he wanted the nice clown lady to make him a balloon lightsaber.  He waited in line so patiently and he even let his bestie go first. But what happened when the balloon she handed him looked more like a pirate sword than a jedi lightsaber? He released the beast. I still cannot fathom how in the world he thought it would be okay to shout at this women. (really?!! are you effing kidding me?? is this even my little boy?) I almost laughed at first. Because: a. he is so stinking cute when he is mad, he crosses his little arms and scowls–you know the works. b. I really did not think this was really happening.

don't let him fool you.. he's not as innocent as he looks...

After a bit of a chat, a time out, and some time to calm down she even tried to make him another one. (Which is more than I would have done- just saying.) The second one must not have met his exact specifications either because he started crying. Then, recovered himself enough to scream at the poor clown again. (this cannot be my child, because my child does not act like this)
Again, a chat and timeout. I put on my best mama voice and told him: ‘Apologize to the poor woman and say thank you, we are leaving.’   He then planted himself in the middle of the floor and started yelling at me. It turned out he still wanting his face painted. (are you serious?)
How did it end? With me marching him to the car. (of course I parked like 10 blocks away) With him screaming, crying, and eventually begging to go back to get his face painted. With the Pea waking up with a cry of her own.  (and wouldn’t you know it, they keep it up the entire way.) With me using the line: ‘just wait until your dad get home.’ (like the hubs is scary.) Sorry, Supernanny. He’s just lucky the Easter Bunny doesn’t have a naughty list, because he’d be drilling for the top.
I suppose, I’ll try again next week. It can only get better from here. Right?
oh boy.

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hey there, blogsville…

So, yesterday morning the Danger-man comes tearing into the livingroom to tell me that he saw a squirrel in kitchen and ‘the squirrel left us a pinecone.’
really?!  a freaking squirrel? I haven’t even had a stinking cup of coffee. (which won’t be enough-but I’ll take what I can get)  how in the hell did a squirrel get into the freaking kitchen, anyway!
I nearly started crying. We really needed to LEAVE and the Danger-man still(still) needed to put on his socks. I really did not have time to deal with this squirrel. Okay, I admit, it doesn’t sound that bad. It’s only a small, wild animal. Plus, it brought us a gift. Nothing I can’t handle, normally; but it’s hard getting the hang of having two kids. And, I nearly had both of  ’em, and myself (which is saying a lot these days) ready to go.  (I know, waaaahhhhh, right?)
I started tentatively looking for this pinecone but I didn’t  see it. Only then, did I realize that the Danger-man could not stop giggling. Finally, it hit me—he pranked me! I gave him the side-eye and asked him what happened to the squirrel, only to hear: “April Fools.” I nearly started crying for a whole new set of reasons.   

So, I suppose, this is me -starting a blog. Good start, no?
Now, let’s see if I can hang.

Welp, welcome to my {our} life.

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